Sexual Myths & Misconceptions
Questions and Answers to sexual myths and misconceptions
Q. Is there any age limitation for copulation?
Ans
There is no age limitation for sex. There are examples of a man married a woman at the age of 95 with woman aged 76. It all depends upon person's habit and liking for the partner. Partner should be attractive, active and cooperative. Normally in a majority of the cases the frequency may decrease with the advance of the age due to a variety of reasons. In many cases they may not do copulation but they continue to do foreplay - kissing, caressing etc., due to variety of reasons.
Q. Upto what age ladies enjoy the sex and what age they are sexier and when they want more sex? What age male and female show decreased interest in sex?
Ans
Normally both sexes are sexier at teenage and at early and middle adulthood age. But it is necessary to understand that sexier does not qualify them that they are good at sex. After the menopause, it is likely that woman may feel decrease in sexual desire but not necessarily. Similarly the male may feel decrease in sexual desire after the age 60, but again it all depends upon the habit, behavior and various techniques in sexual play of both the partners. Apart from this, the general health of the both sexes plays an important role at any age.
Q. Acharya Shri Rajnish theory of copulation to 'Samadhi' how far it is true and practical?
Ans
The theory is very much debatable, controversial, elaborate and it takes time for one to understand it in the correct perspective. It is possible but may not be possible for each person to make it applicable. In a nutshell as I understand Acharya Rajnish said that do not keep fear and do not keep distance from the sexual act and that it is not a sin and that it is a part of life. It is necessary to understand sex and sexuality in correct perspective. Then you can reach the level of 'Samadhi', i.e. deep mental peace. He never advocated that sex is only thing in life to do. What he said is that the sex is part of the life and if one can understand and use it in correct perspective it can reach to the level of 'Samadhi'. There are various ways to reach various levels of mental peace and that if sex and sexuality is coming in the way; one should not keep distance from sex. It is necessary to understand that it is not the only way to achieve 'Samadhi'.
Q. Is it good to do masturbation after marriage?
Ans
It is normal to do masturbation after marriage. It can also be beneficial to persons whose sex drives are greater than their partners at a particular moment. However if they are sex crazy then they should be treated. It can provide a viable (and pleasurable) sexual outlet for people without partners including the elderly. It is seen that at times due to variety of reasons married couples stay separately and for them masturbation is a normal outlet. If a person is married but can not derive pleasure from copulation as compared to masturbation then it is necessary to understand and treat the cause.
Q. Is it advisable to do copulation during menstruation?
Ans
'Yes', as a Sexologist, but 'No' as a Psychologist, as in longer run one may develop a feeling of dirtiness that its smells bad, looks red and as it is viscous. This may help to develop psychological feeling that sex is dirty. I would not recommend it even with condom. One can definitely avoid sex during five to six days' period. Alternately they can opt for masturbation.
Q. What will be the effect, if partner does not give sexual response on religious days and/or at religious places?
Ans
It is believed by many especially ladies, besides preaching of religion that necessitate not to indulge in sexual activity during religious days and/or at religious places. Nothing wrong in such preaching and ideas, even if one thinks scientifically the fact that it will enable one to control his/her mind and they may not become sex crazy. One must always consider the purpose of visiting religious places and observing religious days. It is better to concentrate on the purpose. One should always try to control his/her mind. However if one cannot and the partner refuses, they could opt for masturbation in the residential area only without having any guilt complex.
Q. Whether sex has any connection with religion?
Ans
There are various religious beliefs. One has right to choose one's own belief after keeping balance of mind. Sex is not the only thing in life, but part of the life for those who had not taken any 'Vrath' as per 'Jain' religious philosophy or not opted for 'Sadhutva' (priest). Sex is born with the birth and natural, but one should use it carefully. Religious preaching says to keep away mentally and physically from sexual activity to achieve 'Moksha' - eternal peace. It may not be possible with everybody. It is better to understand sex, sexuality and religion separately in its perspective.
Q. After the age 40, whether male or female enjoys sex or not?
Ans
Yes, by any large everybody except those suffering from 'blues' of 40. It all depends upon the habits and behavior of the partners. It is better to keep variety in postures and places and timing and techniques.
Q. After undergoing complete 'hysterectomy' operation (removal of uterus) what would be the sexual life of ladies?
Ans
The work of the uterus is to give birth to the child and it has no relation to the sex life. However some ladies feel to be incomplete, but it is their wrong belief and understanding. If ovaries are removed before menopause age, then treatment by hormones is needed.
Q. At age 45, how many times it is advisable to do copulation in a month?
Ans
Age has nothing to do with the frequency of the copulation in a month. One may do it daily, sometime twice a day or twice or thrice a week depending upon the desire, habit and response of the partner.
Q. How much time after hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) operation, one is required to keep away from copulation?
Ans
One is allowed to do copulation, normally after 30 to 40 days of the operation with consent of the wife.
Q. Whether to do copulation with girl not having menstruation harmful or not? And whether she would enjoy copulation?
Ans
It appears that you are talking about normal very young girl. In India to do copulation with even your own wife at or below 15 age is defined as rape and copulation with or without consent below 16 age is define as a rape. At younger age the copulation could be painful and normally one would not give consent. It will be not be enjoyable to her.
Q. After how many deliveries ladies would loose charm to enjoy sex?
Ans
Enjoyment has nothing to do with the number of deliveries. It depends upon many factors.
Q. Whether scratch mark on abdomen of ladies can be successfully treated?
Ans
This is normally due to change of weight. During pregnancy it is necessary to do walking or other exercise as advised to prevent it. Normally it gradually fades away on its own. If not one may try ointment or oil containing vitamin 'E'. You may consult your skin specialist.
Q. Please explain methods of foreplay to enjoy sex?
Ans
This is 'out of bounce' of the book. Better the partners work out mutually.
Q. How does the 'Bal Brahmachari' enjoy sex and fulfill his/her sexual needs? Is it possible to control?
Ans
The real Bal Brahmachari is one who could control his/her thoughts and act on sexual activity. It is difficult for most of the people but it is not impossible.
Q. What is required to be done, if one does not enjoy sex after the married life of 15 years?
Ans
First it is necessary to remove the impression that with the advance of age, it is difficult to derive sexual pleasure. It is possible that one may be less crazy but liking for the normal sex and sexuality is normal. It is advisable to opt for different time, place, posture and technique. Besides, co-operation of both the partners is necessary.
Q. How many times one is required to do intercourse in a week?
Ans
There cannot be any rules and regulation. One man does it daily sometime twice a day, two or three times in a week. It depends on liking of both the partners. Copulation is final part of sexual act, but one can go for only foreplay, kissing, and caressing. It all depends on the consent and wish of both the partners.
Q. Whether male/female can kiss on all the parts of the body?
Ans
Yes, but it is better to focus on parts depending upon the liking of the partners. It is better to keep normal hygiene on the genital parts before kissing.
Q. "I am a complete male of age 50, having children and have an extensive desire of sex. Lady friend and wife are cooperative, despite having an erection problem, so what to do? what medicines are needed or any other treatment?"
Ans
You have an arousal problem and as a result erection dysfunction. Pharmaco-therapy, tonic etc would be helpful to the company or the person and/or doctor giving it. It is better you consult good psychologist, Sexologist preferably Hypnotherapist too.
Q. If a man wants to enjoy sex for longer time what precaution he should take during the play?
Ans
Do not take any precaution. It all depends on normal mind control.
Q. Western culture is for open sex whereas Indian culture is for secret sex. Which system is better and why?
Ans
It appears that you do not have a clear understanding on open and secret sex. In western culture they talk freely on the subject of sex and sexuality. Besides they believe that one can opt for the sexual behavior as per their liking and majority of them believe in having relation with more than one partner - free sex. They believe in 'date' system. This awareness is brought by the media and now Indian culture by a large, talk and read freely on the subject of sex and sexuality. Indian society by and large believes in restriction of sexual behavior that is known as pervert behavior and they do not accept homosexual behavior as normal. Indian society yet by a large does not believe in free sex. However with changed scenario youngsters are opting for the free sex with many partners. As a result there would be more problems socially, culturally, besides health problems including AIDS and venereal diseases. I do not believe in free sex and abnormal sexual behavior. At the same time we should not have a hatred for the homosexuality.
Q. How to start to enjoy sex, kissing on lips, breast or other parts?
Ans
To derive best pleasure it is better that the partners must match by heart and mind and thereafter-physical attraction. It is out of bounce to reply more specifically in this book, but it is a better that the partners decide mutually to the liking of both.